Ben Ryder - Side Line Read online

  I broke away from his kiss long enough to say, “Let me cut them off,” but the return of his lips silenced me. I started to tumble back onto the bed, but his arms caught me. He turned us in our embrace and gently lay back, bringing me down on top of him. I wriggled my hand down to unclip his belt like a clumsy teenager as he tugged at the back of my jeans. Soft laughter filled the room as shoes and boots were kicked off and jeans were shuffled down until I was naked and he was left in his T-shirt and white tube socks.

  I pulled up his T-shirt, and we laid our bare bellies against each other. Damon let out a small moan, as if this simple contact of flesh sated his desire. We continued to kiss for what seemed like hours, adjusting our holds on each other in an attempt to bring our bodies closer together.

  My hips fell between his legs as I felt them slowly part. Damon didn’t unlock from our kiss as he hooked his thick legs around my waist, high enough for his ass to rise. My cock slipped down, finding the hairless skin of his hole. My precum only made the sensation even more sensitive as I ran the head of my cock over his hole, teasing it with a little pressure. I broke away from his kiss and buried my head into his shoulder.

  “Please,” Damon whispered into my ear. He pulled me tighter still. “Please, I want you to.”

  Damon shifted his hips until he found a comfortable position. I licked my palm and twisted it around my dick. I gently pushed the tip of my cock against his ass and held it there. He was too tight to force it. His cuffed hands rested on the small of my back, only moving to indicate for me to go a little deeper with each stroke as he took long breaths.

  Completely inside him, I rested my body onto his. We kissed again until I felt his pelvis move. The connection sent a spark into our arms, and we held each other tightly, as though we were anchoring ourselves to each other to survive the winds of a tornado. There was no meaningless movement. Each small rocking motion was captured in a gasp, each kiss muffled a sound of ecstasy. As I slid my cock deep into him, his chest raised like he was being inflated.

  I repeatedly stopped as I felt myself getting closer and closer to coming. He sensed it too and froze, as if any movement would be an encouragement and any encouragement might end the feeling. I slipped out of him, and we kissed again. It was gentle at first, but without the sensation of being inside him, the arousal took over, and I kissed him more and more passionately.

  I ducked out of Damon’s hold and stood at the side of the bed. I twisted his body around so his ass hung off the side of the mattress. He relaxed his linked arms over his head and on the bed. For a moment I saw a prisoner shackled to a wall. I licked my palm again and stroked his cock as I fucked him slowly.

  “I’m close,” he whispered through his gasping breath. I didn’t want it to end. I withdrew my cock from him, hoping he hadn’t gotten to the point of climax. I watched his cock twitch, praying he wasn’t going to cum. It finally became still.

  I remembered the slim box cutter I used to open the packs of promotional gear the company sent and walked over to pull it from the pocket of a pair of jeans I had left over a chair the night before. Damon came up from his back and sat on the edge of the bed looking like a shackled, naked defendant in a courtroom, waiting for bail.

  My thumb slid the release of the box cutter, exposing the razor-sharp blade. My hand shook a little. “It’s okay,” Damon whispered. “I trust you.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered back.

  “You won’t.”

  I gently pulled the tape away from the bandage on his wrist and unwound it from his arm. The thickness of the dressing left just enough space under the plastic cuff to hook the top of the blade and slice through the plastic. Damon shook his wrist free before holding his thumb down on the skin next to the cuff on his other arm to give me enough room to maneuver the blade underneath and repeat the cut. The cuffs fell to the floor, and Damon instantly leaned forward and pulled me by my waist into an embrace, holding his cheek to my stomach. I retracted the blade and threw the box cutter on the table, then cradled the back of Damon’s head in my hand.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. I felt his breath run across the side of my stomach as he released a long sigh.

  “I am better than okay.” I followed his body with my own as he lay back onto the bed. His thick legs wrapped around my waist and shifted my body into position. My cock found his hole again, and I slid slowly inside him. He was every bit as tight as the first time. As I stood at the edge of the bed, I licked my palm again and jerked his cock as I fucked him. His clenched fists stretched out above his head onto the bed. He hooked the calf of his left leg over my shoulder while the other remained bent in the air. I slowed my pace as we came together, Damon into my hand and me deep into him.

  We lay exhausted on our backs while the sound of our heavy breathing filled the room. I stared at the clock and wondered whether he was already thinking about leaving.

  “I have a couple of large T-shirts that should fit you. They might be a bit tight, though. There’s a baseball cap in my suitcase too. You should be able to get back to your car okay in a cab.”

  “Thank you,” he said, rolling over onto his side to face me. I smiled. “No problem,” I said as I hoisted myself up onto my elbow and made to get up from the bed. Damon grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

  “No. Thank you for saving me.” His eyes shifted away as he spoke again. “You are the first person who has ever saved me like that.”

  “Surely when you’ve been out in the field someone has saved you from things far worse than that.” Damon took a deep sigh. “No, in fact it’s usually the opposite. I’m the one who usually has to pull others out of trouble. I’ve never had anyone come back for me the way you just did.” Damon took a long blink before returning his eyes to me. “I guess they assume I’m big enough to look after myself.”

  “Why do you still do it? Why put yourself in harm’s way like that?” “I have people depending on me back home.”

  “So you do have a wife and kid?”

  Damon smiled and settled his head back into the pillow. “No, though I often wonder whether I might have if things were different.”

  “How do you mean? You’re still in the closet?” He rolled his head somewhere between a nod and a shake. “I don’t understand. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed years ago. It’s not like you could lose your job if you were discovered to be gay.”

  There was a slight indication of a wince on his face. “I’m not too sure what I am, to be honest. I haven’t really had the chance to find out.”

  “You mean you’re confused?” Damon relaxed his head to one side and considered the question as though it had never been asked by anyone—or himself—before.

  “Things were easier when Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was in force. If I fooled around with a guy, I knew it would never get back to anyone as their job would be on the line too. It made it easier to keep it under wraps and private.”

  “Would you get hassled by the other guys if they knew?” “I don’t think so. The guys were messing around the other day and someone made a remark about fags. My colonel went ballistic at them. Not only are they not allowed to say shit like that anymore, but he told them that he has a gay brother in service.”

  “Wow, times really have changed. So you’ve only messed around with other military guys?” “Yes. In fact, you’re the first civilian I’ve ever been with. I think I always stayed away from people outside the military, as I knew I would only have to question myself.”

  “I don’t understand.” “I remember watching old prison movies or TV dramas, where guys would have sex with each other because they were only surrounded by other guys. They weren’t gay, but their situation almost made it excusable. Do you see what I mean?”

  “You mean like the way people excused sailors because they’re surrounded by nothing but water and men?”

  “Yeah, something like that. I guess I convinced myself that it was a means to an end. If I fucked a guy, it was purely to get
my rocks off and nothing else. I have a lot on my plate, so dealing with the way I’m attracted to men is a distraction I can do without.”

  “That explains a lot,” I said. Damon looked confused. “I like to think I’m a nice guy, but—” “You are a nice guy. You’re a fantastic guy,” Damon interrupted. He ran the palm of his hand down my arm, letting his hand fall into mine.

  “Why were you nice the first time we met, but so standoffish the next time? Why did you go out of your way to ignore me?”

  Damon covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and then slid it down his face. “I’d had a couple of drinks with my buddies and watched you up on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I was attracted to you the night before, but seeing you up on stage like that, man, that turned me on. But then I got paranoid that my buddies would notice that I was looking more at you than I was the girls.”

  “So you ignored me to not bring attention to the fact you were looking at me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered you looked at me that way.”

  Damon smiled. “Actually, I couldn’t speak to you. I just didn’t know what to say. At that point I didn’t know you were gay and didn’t want to look like a dumbass by tripping over my tongue. I couldn’t get away from you fast enough because, if I had stood there any longer, I would have given myself away. I’ve never had that kind of reaction to a guy before, so it kind of unbalanced me.”

  “So why—” “I know what you’re going to say. Why not talk after we fucked by the car? To be honest, I didn’t want to hear you say anything that would make me like you. It was ridiculous. I had only met you once, but I was taken with you. I even went to the club on Saturday just to see you. Then it seemed like you understood my situation and proved again that you were a great guy by getting me up on stage so I could show off to my buddies with the girls.” I remained silent, regretting my original reason for doing that. “I know it sounds like it doesn’t make sense, but I had to leave that night to get away from you. You were weighing on my mind too heavily.”

  “I guess I can understand what you’re saying, though I don’t know why it would be such a bad thing if I liked you—” “I didn’t want to deal with it. I have other things on my mind.” “So why did you just get up and leave the night you had the fight at the bar?”

  He took a deep confessional breath. “It kind of scared me. I had never allowed anyone to touch me that way. You made me cum by doing one of the things I stayed away from and used as an excuse to myself—that I couldn’t be gay because I never let anyone touch my ass.”

  “Let alone fuck it?”

  “You were my first.”

  “And?”

  “And it’s going to be a lot harder to convince myself of anything after that!” He laughed.

  We lay together for a few minutes, looking at each other and occasionally stroking each other’s arms.

  “I’m sorry for the way I acted.”

  “I guess you’re not the only one who has to convince himself of certain things.”

  “How so?” “I’m not the type of person who would have allowed myself to be treated like a fuck toy. But in all honesty, I enjoyed the human contact. I miss the feeling of skin against my own and the comfort of being with someone else. I may parade around the place like I don’t give a damn and I’m happy being on my own, but sometimes the loneliness is hard.”

  Damon remained silent for a moment. I felt his hand push against my shoulder to turn me around. I followed the pressure and lay on my side, facing away from him. I let out a breath as he wrapped himself around me and held me.

  We lay there for a while, occasionally shifting into what seemed to be an ever-tightening embrace. “How does this feel?” he asked, breaking the silence. “Perfect. How does it feel for you?”

  “Better than I ever imagined.”

  We lay there awhile longer. I looked over at the clock and knew he would have to leave soon. “Are you scared about leaving to go to Iran?” I asked. Damon remained silent.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask like that. I just can’t imagine what it must be like.”

  I felt an eyelash stroke my shoulder as he spoke into my back. “I’m terrified that I won’t come back.”

  “How did you cope before?”

  “It’s different this time. In Iraq and Afghanistan, they were running scared, and the people weren’t too sure of what to expect. It’s only been three years since we left there, but the memory is fresh in their minds and all over YouTube. From what I’ve heard from the guys I know who are already out there, they’re a hell of a lot more hostile toward us and are taking pot shots at the troops before any of us can contribute to the damage they think we’re going to cause.”

  “It must be tough on your family. Your parents must be worried sick that you’re out here.”

  Damon took a deep breath and silently whistled. “Any brothers or sisters?” I asked, trying to divert the subject. He hadn’t responded to my remark about his parents, which gave me the impression that they were less than thrilled with his choice of career.

  He smiled. “Yes, I have two younger sisters.” Damon leaned down from the bed and pulled out his wallet. He tapped at the clear cover on the photograph. “This is Debra,” he said, pointing to the brunette. “She’s my younger sister. We’re a couple of years apart. And this one….” He tapped the face of the young girl that resembled him so much. “This little angel is Dana. She was a bit of a surprise to the family. She’s fourteen years younger than me. She looks a little older now, as this picture was taken a few years ago.”

  “They must be very proud of you,” I said, pulling his arm in a little tighter. “They sound like good kids.” “They really are. I miss them so much. Debra is about to finish nursing college, and Dana has just hit high school. They get together with their friends and make little movies for me and post them on YouTube. They are amazing! They lip-synch to songs and do little skits to make me laugh. They always end with ‘be safe, big brother, we love you and miss you.’ Whenever I’m feeling down or a bit pissed off, I watch them, and they make me howl. They’ll never know how much it helps when I need it, to know they’re thinking about me.”

  I paused for a moment before responding. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by saying this, but, for what it’s worth, I’ll probably be another person thinking about you.”

  Damon’s forehead leaned into my back, and I felt him squeeze. “It’s worth a lot.”

  Tuesday

  IT WAS1:00 a.m. when I felt Damon’s arms relax around me as he drifted to sleep. And it was 3:00 a.m. when he woke in my arms and finally let go of me. I had stayed awake and watched the numbers of the clock change, knowing he should have left, but I kept bargaining for another five minutes until I knew I had to hold him tight enough to stir him from his slumber.

  Damon decided to catch a taxi back to the base and pick up his car the following evening. The streets were so quiet at that time of the night, he would stand out even more than he already did.

  “Try and time it so you pick up your car during one of the calls to prayer. You might have a shot of getting it back to base without having to deal with anyone,” I said as I waited by the elevator with him. I took another look at him, disguised in my favorite baseball cap and one of my old white T-shirts.

  Despite everything that had happened, I was caught off guard when he leaned forward, kissed me, and hugged me tight. “I am so sorry for the mess I got you into tonight. I’m a fucking idiot. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

  “Already done. Just lie low for the next few days.” “Can I see you again before you leave?” “I’d like that. I have one more event tonight, and then I’ll be free. It will be pretty late, though,” I said, pushing my fingers through my hair.

  Damon’s smile grew. “I have no curfew tonight. Can I bring a toothbrush?” DAMON stayed in my mind the rest of the night, making it difficult to sleep. Finally, I managed to grab a couple of hours of rest before heading down to grab some breakfast
at the hotel restaurant. As I walked through the lobby, I wondered whether Damon had made it back okay. I hadn’t heard from him and was worried that he might have run into some kind of trouble. As I passed reception, a gentleman behind the desk waved his hand.

  “Mr. Wells, message for you.”

  I opened the envelope and found a handwritten letter. Hey,

  I picked up the car this morning without any problems. I think we’re in the clear. Heading into work now, but wanted to drop this note off to tell you I had a great time last night. I really didn’t want to leave this morning. I have a cheap payas-you-go cell phone here that I keep in case of emergencies back home. The signal isn’t always too good on it, but if you call and I don’t answer, just leave a message.

  I really can’t wait to see you again tonight.

  D

  +973-3-933-1396

  I sighed with relief and smiled.

  “Jay!” I turned to see Jackie walking across reception toward me with a huge smile on her face and a glow that I could have mistaken for makeup. She wore a pale blue summer dress and looked as innocent as I had ever seen her.

  “Good morning, gorgeous. You’re looking very chipper this morning! I take it the date went well?” “It was fabulous!” she said, twirling before coming to a stop in front of me. “It was an evening of ripped tights, rampant foreplay, and an epic session of passionate lovemaking!”

  “Wow, that good, huh?” “I had almost forgotten how good sex can be!” We both turned to walk to the restaurant. “I think I’m going to have to ask you to go and buy me some more French letters, though, my love. But I think I need the extra-extra-large ones this time!” Jackie laughed and slapped me on my shoulder, causing me to wince in pain.

  “Whatever is the matter with you?”

  “Nothing. It’s a long story. Let’s just say I have another injury.”

  “Oh dear, did a certain someone get a little rough with you again?” “I’ll tell you later!” I said, attempting to laugh it off. Jackie shot me a worried look. “Anyway, where’s Peter? Is he doing the walk of shame back to the seal colony this morning?”